Your phone is deliberately engineered to exploit your need to be seen, known, and approved of . . . and it's working. This Sunday we're talking about vanity. It’s an ancient vice that Silicon Valley has perfected. We want lives of deep meaning and abundance, but this path only leads to destruction.
Check out the weekly sermon here or on our SRBC podcast on Apple Podcast or Spotify.
What We’re Exploring:
Why the desire underneath vanity is more human and more legitimate than you might think, its just that vanity warps that desire
What vanity looks like in real life, from your Instagram to your friends
Why your phone is jet fuel for this particular vice, and what Silicon Valley knows about your need for approval that you may not know about yourself
What Jesus says about vanity in Matthew 6, and why he targets the most religious people in the room
The cure Jesus offers — and why it has everything to do with learning to live before an audience of one
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Vanity — Sermon Transcript
South Run Baptist Church | Springfield, VA
Pastor Eric Gilchrest
Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18
This is a full sermon transcript from South Run Baptist Church in Springfield, Virginia. In this message, Pastor Eric Gilchrest preaches on vanity from Matthew 6:1-6 and 16-18. This sermon is part of the ongoing "The Jesus Way" series on the seven deadly sins and addresses what vanity looks like in everyday life and on social media, how technology platforms deliberately exploit our need for approval, what Jesus teaches about practicing righteousness in secret, and how to find freedom from vanity by seeking the applause of God rather than the crowd.
We are in a year of transformation. If you're new, the bracelets are in the narthex back there, and we have been thinking about the nature of what Jesus is calling us into, a life that is filled with growth and movement in which we are allowing God to do the work in our hearts and in our lives that he so desperately wants to do. For the last few weeks, we've been specifically aimed at this notion that there are these two ways that Jesus offers us. There's this one way, and he calls it the narrow way, and it's the way that leads to life, though, and this is the Jesus way. The premise of it all is actually quite simple, is that if Jesus is who he says he is. And if he is indeed the Son of God incarnate, well, then he can teach us a lot about how to live a life. And we should probably listen to that.
And so as we talk about the narrow way and the way that leads to life, we're simply letting Jesus teach us how to live our lives. But he does speak of this other way, the broad way, the big way, the one that has the most trucks and traffic going down it. And this is the way that he says leads away from life and into destruction and even death, he says.
And so the way this is working, in case you haven't been picking up on it, is one week we're going to talk about the narrow way. And we did that last week. We talked about the gravel underneath our feet. We said, okay, Jesus, if you're going to teach us how to live a life, what do you do? And we looked at the towel in the basin. He's washing his disciples' feet just days before he is going to be crucified for us. And he lives this life of a servant, right? This is who he is. This is the way that he teaches. And so he's calling us into this same narrow way. And he's saying, look, if you want to live lives that are full of life, be a servant, a servant leader, right?
Well, then today, we're going to kind of flip over to the bigger way, the broader way, and the way that we can end up finding ourselves leading lives that lead to destruction. And to do this, we're going to talk through what are called the seven deadly sins.
The Seven Deadly Sins
We've got one up here, back a slide just a second. It's called vanity, right? Vanity is the name of this first one that we're going to deal with. Actually, let's show that second slide now that you've got it up. So this is the rotten tree that I hope looks nothing like your soul right now, right? At the root of it sits pride, and pride is indeed the root of all sin. This is what's sitting underneath it all, and pride is really the opposite of what we talked about last week. So if last week is about serving others, it's about showing up for the world and looking to God for our answers, well, pride is all about self, and it's turning in on self.
And then when we do this, it has other offshoots that begin to pop up. And there's a whole history here, and if you join us at the 945 Sunday morning Bible study, we kind of go in depth with some of these. But there's a whole history of these seven deadly sins or vices. And so these are the ways in which pride manifests itself. And today we're going to talk about vanity, but we'll also talk about all the others. We'll envy, sloth, wrath, greed, lust, and gluttony over the coming weeks. And then these have their own produce, this rotten fruit that comes out, and we call this sin. And so vanity produces certain kinds of sin and envy certain kinds of sin, etc., etc.
But the goal is to not go down that path, that broad road. And the goal is to not grow this kind of plant in your soul. Instead, it is to chop all these things off and to put a bunch of roundup around it and instead find our way on the narrow road, the one that leads to life. Because this leads to death.
Opening Prayer
As we get started here, let's start with some prayer and we'll jump right in. Heavenly Father, we come this morning and I echo Clint's prayer, which is a prayer for unity for this nation. Lord, I am concerned about the soul of the nation. Lord, we can look at this list that was on the screen, these seven deadly sins, and it feels like an indictment of our culture. And so, Lord, may we be people of the way, the way that leads to life, the Jesus way, a way that brings people back to life. And Lord, we ask over these coming weeks, but especially here, especially now in this moment, that you invade this space, that you teach us what it means to live that kind of life. In Christ's name we pray. Amen.
What Vanity Looks Like
All right, so we're starting with vanity rather than pride. We've talked about pride actually a number of times before. So I thought, well, we'll just jump straight in to what vanity looks like. And I'm just going to tell you a few examples. I'll let you fill in the blank for your own life. But vanity looks something kind of like this. It's when you're telling a story to somebody. You're like relaying something. Pastors never do this. But like you like beef it up a little bit, you know, you're telling a story about maybe how you rescued something, but you want to make sure you look like extra brave, and so you add to it, right? And you're trying to do what in that moment? You're trying to project your strength and your bravery, and you're trying to convince somebody else that you indeed are this really great guy.
Or maybe like you're in a meeting at work or if you're in school, it's a classroom and your teacher calls on you and you speak up and you're kind of sharing your opinion. But when you do so, you like look around the room and then you notice somebody grimaces, right? Or somebody else that has like this angry look on their face or somebody chuckles. This is the worst one. Somebody kind of chuckles and you're like, oh, what were they thinking? Oh no. And you begin then like the rest of the day, you're kind of like replaying that scene and you're wondering what was going on in their mind, right? This is vanity. You're concerned with the outward appearance of it all and what others are thinking.
Or maybe you did a good deed. You helped a homeless man or you rescued a cat from a tree and no one saw you do it. And now you got to get the credit. And so what do you do? It just kind of happens to come up in a conversation where you want to make sure, you know, everyone knows that you're the guy who feeds the man, or you're the guy that rescues cats from trees, right? And this is what? This is vanity. This is putting out an image for the world to see, even if it doesn't like fully reflect the reality that's underneath the image.
This is, of course, the biggest difference. This is what makes vanity vanity, is the disconnect between this outward and the inward. Jesus is very concerned inward. He's constantly saying it's not enough to like not murder. You shouldn't do that. You shouldn't even hate, right? So you got to go one layer deeper. And he's worried what's happening in your soul and in your heart. And so he's coming after not just the outward sins, but he's coming after what's sitting underneath it all.
Vanity can also show up very clearly online. You can imagine what this looks like right, it looks like you post something to Facebook or to Instagram and what do you post? Well maybe you post a picture of yourself that you've taken like six different angles, you know, and then you're trying to find the perfect one that makes you look the best. Or maybe you're like out and about and you're thinking, oh, I'm somebody because I'm in the room with so-and-so over here. And you just kind of take the photo to catch, you know, the both of you in the room together, right? This is vanity because you're projecting this image of who you maybe want to be or you at least want other people to think you're that person, right? This is vanity.
Technology and the Seven Deadly Sins
Throughout this series on these seven deadly sins as we hit them, I really want to draw your attention to the way our technologies are actually shaping. They're like jet fueling all of these sins. And my guess is we're asleep at the wheel to it. We aren't realizing just how much our technologies, our social medias, or what we're like viewing online, the way we use our phones and our computers and our TVs, that they are corrosive if you are not watching out for it. And so I want to pay special attention to this.
There's a guy named Reid Hoffman. Reid Hoffman is the founder of LinkedIn, and he says this. He says, social networks do best when they tap into one of the seven deadly sins. Just let that sink in for a second, folks. This is a man who understands you. And that they are creating technologies that are preying upon our deepest weaknesses. That they know where to tap into if they're really going to get down to something here. And they intentionally play on this.
And so, for example, if we can put it on the screen, I've offered a few options for you here, right? Vanity. Like, you just got to get on Instagram, right? And you got to see what they're doing on Instagram. And then you find yourself like, and it's all about the image. Envy, right? You're on Facebook and you're looking at this other person's vacation and you're thinking, I need a vacation too. Why am I not on that vacation? Why are they always on vacation, but I'm not on that vacation? This is envy. It is intentional on Facebook's part. Anger. Anger. If you've ever been on X, it's an anger stew. They have figured out that anger is the best way to drive your attention. You want to come back because you're angry, and there's something really nice about that anger, the feeling of it. You come to actually enjoy. But this is a problem. This is not a good thing. And this is shaping and warping who we are supposed to be.
Sloth. I could have put a lot of them up there for this one, right? Netflix? Yeah. YouTube? Yeah. All social media? Yeah. How much time do we spend on our devices? And we're just sitting there watching. You might add other television stations to it. What has you doing nothing instead of doing something? All these technology companies are aiming for our attention. They're trying to steal our time. Greed. Amazon is like a lovely example of this, and it's tapping into this, I just want more mentality. And when I have a thought and I think, you know what? I should have this product. Well, thank you, Amazon. You've made it very easy for me to get that product. I just pull you up on my phone and I click buy now. They've made it doubly easy. You used to have to go through all the steps, but now they've got the buy now button and you hit that and within a day, they're moving to hours now, you've got the product at your door.
Gluttony. DoorDash. This is the Sunday I really look forward to. We will be sure to sync up Gluttony Sunday with a meal after the fact. That should be fun. And then the one you're all waiting for, which is lust. I've got Tinder here, but if we're being honest, most of these actually, they're fueled by lust, right? Instagram, you certainly find it on there. Facebook, X, Netflix, Amazon-ish. DoorDash is safe, though. It's a safe place for lust. Unless the driver's cute. Thank you. Thank you, indeed.
But today we're talking about vanity, okay? See, I told you last week we were all going to enjoy these. And I got looks like, I don't know, but I think we're going to enjoy talking about sin during these seven deadly sins. But I will say underneath that should be a very, very serious look at what's happening inside of here, because it is warping you if you're not careful.
Jesus on Vanity: Matthew 6
Jesus did not know what Instagram was, so he didn't know what that kind of vanity looked like, but he definitely knew vanity. So if you'll turn with me, we'll take a look at Matthew chapter six, and I'll show you how Jesus paves the way for us. Starting in verse one, he says the following, beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.
And here's the kind of the preamble to the section that follows. And he's worried about practicing righteousness, not for righteousness sake. Like, he wants us to be righteous people. He wants us to be disciplined people. He wants us to be shaped into the image of Christ. He wants all of these things. But he's worried that by practicing them before other people, what you're really cultivating is the image of a righteous person, and then underneath it is still that rotten, awful person that he's trying to transform. And so in the end, he's worried that you're going to settle for an image of a Christ-bearer, but underneath you are not at all. I am worried about this for you too. I am worried about this for me. And part of this series is to try to get us connected between our image and what's happening underneath it all.
He goes on, verse 2, thus when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly I say to you, they have received their reward, but when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
Here he begins his warnings with something that he wants all of us doing, right? He wants to give to the needy. We should be people who show up for the needy. Jesus, countless times, wants us to be practicing this discipline. He wants us, as I used earlier, to be the person who actually feeds the homeless man, who needs help when we pass by. What he's worried about, though, is that we do it for all the wrong reasons. And that the reasons that we're doing it is not to actually be a transformed person in our heart, but is to be seen as the kind of person who does that. And to carry with that a high religiosity.
It turns out that the vanity of Instagram and the vanity that shows up in our day-to-day lives, well, it gets mirrored and is frankly probably more dangerous within the church than outside the church. Because in the church, we can sit here and wear masks and pretend like we are upstanding righteous people. And we can play all the right parts. But man, if that exterior does not match what's happening under the surface, Jesus has some very clear warnings.
He goes on. He says, verse 5 and 6, when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. And there it is. It's all about what? It's the applause of the others. It's the person who's always looking out for, how does this make me look in the eyes of the others. Truly I say to you, they have received their reward. And then he says, here's the answer, is when you pray, don't pray for the reward of the others. Don't try to get the recognition. Don't use King James English when you pray. It's not about, you know, like looking a certain kind of way. Instead, pray and go into your room. Shut the door. Pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father, who sees in secret, well, he will reward you.
Multiple times, Jesus talks about the hypocrites. And in the ancient world, a hypocrite is very simply a stage actor. It's somebody who puts on a mask, they walk up on a stage, they play a part, but they are not that part in real life. They play the part, but they're not that part. And Jesus says, look, if you're doing all these things for all the wrong reasons, then you're just an actor on a stage. This isn't who you really are. And Jesus is far more interested in who you really are than you playing some kind of part.
Vanity, vanity is all about playing the part and getting the applause of all the people around you, managing your image. But Jesus is saying, this is not the way. This is the way that leads to destruction. I want you on this path that leads to life. This is the reward. The reward is a life that leads to life. And Jesus is saying, if you go down that vanity path, that is empty and hollow and shallow.
To finish up what he has to say here, we look at verse 16, 17, and 18. When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces, that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say, they've received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head, wash your face, that your fasting may be seen by others, not by others, but by your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret again. He rewards you.
To Be Rather Than to Seem
A while back, Scott Yao, he's a pillar of this church, he's from the great state of North Carolina. He taught me that his state's motto is esse quam videri. He did not tell me that those were the words because he didn't know the Latin. But I looked it up, and that is indeed true. And the words mean to be rather than to seem. Which is precisely this really nice definition of what vanity is. Or maybe the opposite of vanity, really. It is better to be someone rather than to seem to be someone. We want to be people. We don't just want to seem like or someone. We want to be. Vanity, however, is satisfied with seeming to be good, but we want to be good. Vanity is satisfied with seeming to be a good cello player or actor or whatever job you do when you go off to work, but we want you to be that person.
Vanity is indeed one of the roads to destruction. And it's worth naming what that destruction looks like in this life. Because I think what Jesus is teaching us is not just that this road that leads to life is like eternal life somewhere way out there. I think he's teaching us that the road to life is actually the fullness of life here and now. And in the same way, the road to destruction is actually a road that destroys you in the here and now.
And so what does that look like? Well, it looks like a study that Facebook did in 2025, just last year. It had 35,000 people in this study, and they, for six weeks, said, if you will just simply cut off your Facebook and Instagram usage, we want to see what happens to you over those six weeks. You can imagine what happens to the people over six weeks. Happiness spikes up and symptoms of depression and anxiety plummet. By deactivating your Facebook account, again, a study that they put together, by deactivating your Facebook account, this is at 22% as effective as actually getting professional therapy. When we stop feeding the monster of vanity, we find that nature, our souls, actually begin to heal themselves.
Vanity is this wide road to destruction. And the destruction can look like the following. Vanity isolates us. Real intimacy requires being known. It requires interacting with real people in real life. But vanity settles for projecting an image. And it's hard to keep that image up, isn't it? And so we end up feeling isolated. Like people kind of know us, but they don't know the real us. Vanity is exhausting. And it exhausts you. The performance, it never stops. Every interaction is like an audition, and social media made the audience permanent, as you're constantly having to get the praise of whoever is on the other side of that social media account. Vanity, it turns out, makes you thin-skinned. If your identity is built on what others think of you, well then even helpful feedback sounds threatening, and you struggle when people give you advice. You can't admit failure. You can't laugh at yourself because you're so worried about what other people think. And then worst of all, vanity severs you from God. You seek the glory that comes from others, and in so doing, you choose something above God. And Jesus says very directly in John 5, 44, how can you be a believer? You accept glory from one another, but you don't seek the glory that only comes from God.
The name of vanity in its most ancient phraseology is vain glory, vain glory. It is a fleeting kind of glory, an ephemeral, like the mist, right? And so in the moment, you are glorious and everybody's clapping. But then the next day, the audience is gone, and there's no more clapping, and you're left feeling hollow and empty and isolated.
The Cure for Vanity
Vanity instead should drive us toward that road of life. Because on the road of life, we seek not the applause of the congregation or the crowd or the many. We seek the applause of just the one. We seek God's affirmation. The cure to vanity is twofold. One, it turns out Facebook taught us the cure to parts of vanity, which is to simply unplug. Like if there's something that's causing you to be a more vain person, well then, you know, snap it off. Just kind of deactivate. If Facebook's study is right, you will see happiness spiking and depression and anxiety lowering. So that maybe is what you need to do. Or maybe you'll take the Jesus route. And Jesus tells us what? Well, to go into the hidden place. And to get away from the crowds, the ones who are applauding us, and instead to seek God's approval. We just need the approval of one.
And so this, it turns out, is a wonderful cure to our vanity. But we wear these masks that we wear, we play the role of the hypocrite for a reason. It's a fear that if people saw us for who we really are, that they wouldn't love us. So we hide. And we project strength or beauty or whatever it is you're projecting. And we pretend we're smarter than we are. We make ourselves as pretty as possible. But underneath the masks, something is rotting and dying. And we are whitewashed tombs. That is the road that leads to death and destruction.
But here is where Jesus sets us free. Because God loves you for who you are. He created you that way after all. And that is a good thing. Be that person, the one that God created you to be. If someone does not love you for who you are, that's their problem. They can take it up with your maker someday. Besides, the people you want in your life are the people who love the real you, the you that's underneath, the you that's in process, the you that is being transformed. And they are the people who will usher you forward into the fully transformed life that we're all aiming at.
Closing: Why Were You Not You?
Rabbi Zusha of Hannibal lived in the 18th century, and he was a Hasidic teacher. And he had the following to say up here on the screen. When I die and stand before the heavenly court, they will not ask me, Zusha, why were you not Moses? They will ask, Zusha, why were you not Zusha? Eric, why were you not Eric? John, why weren't you John? Susan, why were you not Susan? And you, each of you. Why didn't you live this life as you?
At the end of the day and at the end of life, you will not stand before the masses to see what everyone thinks of you. You will stand before the audience of just one, your maker, the one who breathed this life into you and who called it good, the one who has redeemed you, the one who calls you by name, the one who says, you are mine. Seek his applause. That is the only review that matters.
Closing Prayer
Father of all life, Creator of all things. Lord Jesus, through whom life came into this world. Holy Spirit, the one who continues to breathe new life into the people in this room. We ask for your life here and now. Show us this way that leads to abundant life. And that leads to eternal life. Jesus, you walked this path before us. And you gave us warnings about the other way. And how not to lead those lives. Because Lord, those lives lead not to life, but to death and to destruction. And so God, now, we're sitting at a fork at a crossroad. And we're asking you to point the way. And we're saying one more time, God, we choose to follow you. Jesus, we follow you onto that narrow way, a way that sometimes is unclear exactly where we might be going, but because you're walking down it, we're walking down it. And God, that other way, well, that is not a way of life at all. That is a half-life at best, a way to destruction at the end of it all. So God, today, may we be people who choose life. I pray this in your holy name. Amen.
