What if Jesus' most demanding words are actually his most life-giving? On Senior Sunday, Pastor Eric unpacks three commands from Matthew 16 — deny yourself, take up your cross, follow me — and makes the case that this isn't a burden to bear but a blueprint for a life worth living. Science, biography, and Scripture all point the same direction: the people who grip their lives the tightest end up with the least, and the ones who give themselves away end up with everything that actually matters.
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What We’re Talking About
What Jesus would actually say in a commencement speech — and why it's harder and better than the usual advice
What "deny yourself" means, and the trap of thinking it means killing the passions God planted in you
Why doing hard things isn't punishment — it's the path to the life you actually want
The hedonic treadmill: what science finally caught up to tell us about pleasure, pain, and why your phone is making you miserable
How to follow Jesus wisely — and why who else you follow matters more than you think
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South Run Baptist Church | Springfield, VA
Pastor Eric Gilchrest
Matthew 16:24–26
May 17, 2026 — Senior Sunday
This is a full sermon transcript from South Run Baptist Church in Springfield, Virginia. In this message, Pastor Eric Gilchrest delivers a commencement address to the church's graduating senior class from Matthew 16:24–26. This sermon is part of the ongoing "The Jesus Way" transformation series and addresses three commands Jesus gives his followers — deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me — and what each one means practically for young people stepping into adult life.
Opening: A Pastor-Dad Starts to Feel the Feels
Good morning. It's really nice to have the room fuller and to be with all of you who have gathered for this class of seniors. As I was sitting over here, I think I've made a grave error. I thought to myself, I'm going to do something a little different this morning. And Danny, despite what you said, my gift to you all is that this message will be a little shorter today. The grave error, though, is that I don't have notes to read, which I think was going to be fine until I was over here and thinking, this is not the morning to just...
Someone was asking me earlier, like, how do you feel about all this? Because I have a senior, in case you don't know. One of my seniors in the room here, one of the 11 — there's 11 of them — is mine. And the question was, how do you feel about that? I said, you know what? I feel fine. I've not had any time to process. I've just kind of been doing the thing. And then as I'm sitting over here, I'm starting to feel the feels. And I'm like, this could go terribly. So my hope is that it doesn't.
I'm going to talk to you all this morning, and they can listen, and this message is for you.
What Would Jesus Say in a Commencement Speech?
As I was thinking about what to talk about, the question popped into my head: if Jesus was asked to give a commencement speech, what would he do, right? What would Jesus do, WWJD? And, you know, if you were at the homeschool commencement yesterday, Dr. Yingling gave a very nice commencement speech. Let's go ahead and practice what he said. He said, you need to remember four things, right? They are — as we're kind of cheated — yes, lead courageously, and then the second was? Yes, accept responsibility. The third was? Reject passivity. Adam, can I just say, you did something right here. Three out of three so far. The fourth is? The most important one. Invest eternally. Yeah.
I went home from that, and I thought that was beautiful. And then I opened up the social media, and I saw that there's a musician named Eric Church. He gave a speech yesterday, and he was up there with his guitar, and he had six points, the six strings of the guitar. Each were their own point, and the bottom E string was that you need faith, and you need a belief in God, and this will see you through life. All of these would be great. But this is not how Jesus talks. And so he doesn't usually give us the six points to living the right life. As much as I would wish he did, by the way, I really do. But instead, he often talks in parables and enigmatically. He gives us things like we heard this morning: if you try to save your life, you'll end up losing it. And yet if you lose your life for his sake, you find it, right?
And so this morning, I want to give you some of what I think to be Jesus' wisdom. Again, as a dad who's in the middle of my life and have a few years under my belt now, and the thought of sending one of my own out into the world — what would I want to say to you? Like if this was my last chance and I never got to talk to you again, what would I want to say?
Before I do, let's pray. Heavenly Father, we come this morning and we ask that your word is spoken here. Lord, we believe that you have something to say to these seniors especially, but to everybody in the room. God, we are on a path of some kind — a narrow path, prayerfully, one that leads to life. But some of us on that wider path that leads to destruction. And so Lord, this morning, as we think about the future that sits in front of us, let us choose wisely. Speak clearly. In Christ's name we pray, amen.
Matthew 16:24–26: Three Points for a Life Worth Living
I believe with all my heart that Jesus wants each and every one of you to live really full lives. When he promises us abundant life, I think he means it. When he promises us that this path, this narrow path, is one that leads to life, I think he means it. But it's narrow for a reason. And sometimes that narrowness gets so small, it feels like a tightrope, like you might fall off on one side or another.
And so with the shorter time that I have, Danny, I want to give you not the six strings of a guitar and not even the four. I'm going to go three. And I think they come straight from Jesus' word to us this morning. I'd ask that each of you open up to Matthew chapter 16. I want to show you what he says.
First of all, if we get to the end of the passage from today, which is verse 26, he offers a warning. And the warning is this. He says, what's the profit of a man if he gains the whole world, if he gets to the end of his life, and he has achieved everything. He is the king of it all. He's sitting on top of every throne, and he has all the money, and he has all the fame, and he's got whatever you've wanted in this life, but he has forfeited his soul. What does he profit? And of course, Jesus is saying nothing. And so what he's really talking about here is how do we live a life where we keep our souls intact? How do we live a life of integrity and character? How do we live a life that leads to life and fullness?
And I think he does give us a bit of a roadmap here. He gives us, we'll say, three things. Verse 24: "If anyone comes after me, let him" — and here's your three points — "deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me." These are the three things. Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me.
Point One: Deny Yourself — What It Means and What It Doesn't Mean
We'll start with the deny yourself piece. For this, I want to tell you what it means and what it does not mean.
To deny yourself is to say that the world and human nature is such that the operational mode — like the mode you just start in — is selfishness. It's just how it works. We walk through the world in a way that is, I'm at the center of my own world, right? Wherever I go, there I am. I'm in the frame at all times, and there's no getting around that. And so it requires something of you to think about other people and to prioritize others and to put them ahead of yourself. And so when Jesus is saying to deny yourself, he's saying you need to find a way to love other people well and to think about others — whether it's your moms, and you're supposed to call them when you go off to college, whether it's your friends, whether it's your younger siblings or the people in your life that you meet that need you — you've got to find a way to bend outside of the frame that is our life, the selfish frame, and to think of others.
Here's, though, what deny yourself does not mean, and this one is very important to me, and I wanted to make sure I got it in here because I fell into this trap many, many times in my life. What deny yourself does not mean is to deny the passions of your life, the things that you love, the things that make you come alive, the things that God has rooted way deep down in you. God's put those there for a reason. And you don't need to deny those. You might need to train those and to make them proper loves, but you don't need to deny them. In fact, those might be the very gifts that God has given to you, that you are then supposed to give to the world.
Point Two: Take Up Your Cross — Doing Hard Things and the Hedonic Treadmill
The second thing that Jesus says is to take up your cross. Take up your cross. I've got two points on this one too.
There is the bigger sense of what this means. To take up a cross means to go to your death. It's a very sobering thought. Thankfully, as a preacher, I get to talk about sobering things, and so I want to take this moment to do so. I would encourage each of you to ask yourself in a very sincere way, maybe in a quiet moment: what would I be willing to actually die for? What would I die for in this life? Who would I die for? If you're entering into the military, you might really be asked this question. Your country, your family, your faith — what is it? For whom and for what would you be willing to take up your cross?
The second thing, though, is maybe lesser, but also very important, which is to say, Jesus is calling us to a life that costs something, that has some measure of pain to it, that has some measure of devotion. And you can do hard things. This is what I want you to know. You can do hard things. You need to do hard things in life. And there's something about the doing of the hard thing that actually makes you stronger and ready for the next harder thing until you've done that. And then you're at the next hard thing. And pretty soon, you're a whole lot stronger than you thought you were. And picking up your cross means doing the hard thing over and over and over again.
Jesus leads his disciples into some pretty hard places, and the Peter we meet in the Gospels and the Peter we meet in the letters of Peter are two very different people. The one is deeply immature. He's probably really young. He might be your age, and he does some really foolish things. But by the time he's at the end of his life and he's the fully mature Peter, he has done some very hard things in life. And if tradition has anything to say, he died a martyr's death just like his Savior did. You can do hard things, and you should do hard things.
I've got this whole bit about the hedonic treadmill, and you know what? I'm doing all right on time, so I'm going to say it. It goes like this. There's a way of living that seeks to just do the next pleasurable thing. Whether that thing is sitting on your phone, whether it's chasing some kind of fun thing out there, whether it's doing things you shouldn't be doing — maybe it's things that you think are harmless — but it's a life that seeks those pleasurable dopamine hits, okay?
The truth of your brain, and science has finally caught up to faith here, is that this is not sustainable. The hedonic treadmill goes like this. Hedonism is the pursuit of pleasure and pleasure and more pleasure and more pleasure. And to do so requires increasing amounts of pleasure, and that becomes unsustainable. And what really happens is you find the pleasure in the momentary hit of the dopamine, whatever that might be for you, and then the baseline of your life, the in-between spaces, gets lower, and then it gets lower again, and then it gets lower again. And this leads to things like depression and anxiety and just a general malaise.
The opposite of this is to do hard things. It's why when you work out, if you go to the gym and you push some weights around, in the moment you're doing the hard thing, and then what happens is there's this rush after the fact and you feel better about yourself, and your mind is clearer, and the world just seems like a better place. And it's because by doing the hard thing, you've actually pushed down the opposite way, but then the baseline of it all, the in-between places — it comes up. This is a very important lesson in life, because you can't just chase the pleasure and skip the pain. It's all one bundle together. And by doing the hard things of life, you actually make room for the more pleasurable experiences to even be received as such.
A couple weeks ago, I told a story or I had this illustration about a boy mowing the lawn with his dad. If you were here for it, it was awesome. And I forgot my prop again. The boy comes in from mowing the lawn with his dad. He did nothing — he had a plastic mower, if you weren't here for it. But he comes in, and he's sweating too. And the dad's sweating too. And they're both enjoying a glass of lemonade together. And they're both looking at that lawn, and the little boy is like, we did such a great job, dad. And there's something about the hard work of it all that makes that moment of the lemonade worth it completely.
Let me offer you two people. One person spends a lot of his life building a business — lots of late nights, lots of early mornings, lots of probably coffee involved, like sweat and no doubt some real tears in building this business and building this life. And then five and 10 and 15 years down the road, that business turns into something awesome. And he becomes a millionaire. And then there's this other person, and this person won the lottery. And they became a millionaire overnight. You tell me — those two people, the one who built the business and the one who won that million dollars overnight, which one appreciates that life that has been built for them? You know the answer, right? It's the one who worked for it. It's the one who put in the hours. It's the one who was doing the hard thing, was receiving some of the pain. But then the pleasure on the backside of it all — this was worth every minute because now this person has built a life. And so part of this is picking up your cross — being willing to do the hard thing.
Point Three: Follow Jesus — and Be Careful Who Else You Follow
But I'd be neglectful if we didn't say the third part, which is actually part of the cross bearing, which is the third thing that Jesus says here: to follow him. To follow him. I have two things I want to say about this.
One is to follow Jesus is exactly what he's talking. He's not just talking about following some divine source out there. He's talking about Jesus has a way for you. And the message that I've been trying to give to you for the last 18 years of your life is that the Jesus way is a way worth walking. It's a path that you are intended to walk down. And if you walk it well, then it will lead to life. It won't preclude all the hardness that I've talked about. The cross bearing is still real. All of that is still real. But the meaning of life will be abundant at that point.
And then the second thing goes along with following. And it, again, is a lesser point here, but it's really important. Because here's the truth. You're going to follow someone in life. You're actually going to follow many people in your life. And I need you to be very careful about who you trust. Who do you entrust yourself to? Who do you entrust your mind to? Walk in a discerning way. Follow discerningly. But you'll follow somebody. So find the right people to trust. I would encourage you to find people with character. People who love you. People who have a certain amount of humility about them. But people who have lived a life that you would want to actually live. That you would be proud of living. Follow those kinds of people.
A Word from a Dad Who Got Lucky
I've said my three points. And so there's just one more thing to say. I am proud to be your dad. And I'm proud to be your pastor. I don't know how I got this lucky in life. My life has been winding and it's been its own path. But to find myself here in the middle of my life, standing on a stage, getting to talk to 11 amazing seniors who have awesome lives waiting in their future — God has given me an amazing thing. And I want amazing things for each of you. I believe God has amazing things in store for each of you. And I would just encourage you to walk the path with integrity, to keep your souls intact, to follow his ways.
Let's pray together. Father in heaven, we thank you for these students, these young men and these young women. Lord, they are a gift from you. They are a gift to me. They are a gift to this church. They are a gift to these parents, their families. And Lord, I am looking forward to what you are going to do with these fresh young lives. They very well might change the world. There are 11 of them, just like the 11 disciples who were following you, and they changed the world. And so, Lord, my prayer is that each of these 11, these disciples of Christ, that they walk the way with a steadiness, that they choose you every time. And we ask that you prepare the way for them. In Christ's name we pray. Amen.
South Run Baptist Church | 8712 Selger Drive, Springfield, VA 22153 | Sunday Worship at 11am Serving Springfield, Burke, West Springfield, Lorton, Alexandria, Fort Belvoir, and Franconia, Virginia. Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify